im using my deadjournal now, go there instead....

http://www.deadjournal.com/~doveofnight

okay so today was like this. one major kevin sottek inspired day. so on the way to 6th period i go my kevin landsman's (too many damn kevins) locker where he, alex and kevin s. always stand for a little. i arrive and yasmin is there and i give her a huge hug and kevin s. is standing there waving but i dont wave back cuz im suddenly again pissed off. (yesterday night he left me a message saying that he was sorri for not talking to me and that he would start talking to me again, as if of course he cant choose when he wants to be my friend and when he doesnt) so anyway back to my story, i dont even acknowledge his existence realli so he says to yasmin "she hates me" and i reply cooly "yes i do actualli, i realli do, you are realli mean." then he gets all flustered becuz i agreed with his wimpy comment and he says, "well just cuz i didnt stay with you when you friend was pierc--" "no kevin, it isnt even that, you are just mean."

then yasmin tries to intervene cuz im getting pritty upset and then kevin L. jumps in and says "christina you didnt walk with me to 5th today, i was so disappointed"
"well actualli i was trying to walk with this kevin over here to 5th but he just walked in front of me and didnt say a word and left." then of course kevin sottek gets that goofy *im so innocent* grin on his face
"i didnt leave you-you were talking to someone..."
"oh i was talking to someone, no i wasnt, i wasnt talking to anyone!"
"yes you were, you were tal--"
"no i wasnt talking to anyone else"
thats about when yasmin starts cracking up immensly saying its bad that we're fighting but it was just so funni
"I'll ride your bus today" kevin says weakly
"oh thats so big of you, realli just so big" and me and yasmin walk off hand in hand whew well that was a major lil splurge there. so guess wat, kevin rode my bus, indeed he did, and after him and tom and some of me discussing his oh so large penis (i swear to god, its as if everyone already doesnt no i KNOW it is just so large, jeez man) and how much i suck cuz i like fiona apple we get off the bus and it is so windy we are both flyying around and im yelling at him some more about how awful he is tho as i was yelling all the awful things the great glorious things were choking up in me and as he was gonnaleave i yelled he couldnt go again without hugging me so as the wind tore at us in every direction he held me and when he let go i was flung around by the immense "breeze" again and i yelled for him to come back, come back cuz all i wanted was to be held by him and to be safe and he kissed my head and held me in his arms for a few seconds more and walked away...and left me there..........

okay so i admit it

i still miss him

i still need him

and i still love him

so shoot me dammit

.:witch baby:.

so its like this. i had a good day, a great day, in fact my days have been becominf increasingly better and steadier and good but then of course things have to go...wrong. like jacki ditching me for the third time in a row which im getting sick and tired of. i hate being second priority to her always and always, for once id like to be at the top of someones list...not just an idea floating in the back of their head. and well parents also add into the factor. ha well, no one needs to hear those worn out topics. i had the weirdest conversation during dinner tho, my sister apparently is getting all sorts of commments about me at school (Frost) cuz i'm "so pritty" or "looks so much like avril lavigne" (dear lord) or even better "some kid with an afro" was talking about me. and since i dont ever talk to 7th graders, or never even see then im guessing "the kid with the afro" is behind all of this. aka. Kevin Sottek. this is what i get for going out with a younger guy with 50,000 fans in middle school. a public profile. and so far well, its all good things....i guess....except the avril lavigne remark...i hear that enough from HIGH school students...parents....people in coffee shops....watever anyway that was pointless to ramble about.

the good thing about this time is that i'm happi. and i hadnt been happi after my little break up for awhile. yea infact i was pritty miserable. but ive suddenly had a new cluster of awesome friends and its such a relief cuz they are, unlike alot of my old friends, simply awesome people.okay okay okay such as: Mike Hendel, or Mendel or watever you like to be called, he is now my official (and i garuntee officalness) darling. cuz he is darling, and he makes me laugh like no other (oh yes group projects with you are always awesome) which also includes Mr. Kevin Mangold, you are a cool kid, silent yes, in person to say the least *examining eye* but no your fun to talk to online cuz well you always laugh at wat i say so i laugh back and DAMN YOU TAKE ME ON YOUR CRUISE!!! can you believe this guy is going to the bahamas *shakes head* hmm yes and kendall of course, who is as sweet as can be and has hair that you just want to eat and Jen who is godly, for some reason we can talk very easily just about extremely random things, or even boring things if youre talking to a boring person but with jen its like....the letter "T" could be the most amazing thing in the world, if your talking to jen. and of course claire, whos has that mystery thing going for her...and Bad Like Bob....if that name all together was a person...i'd do him. and claire, matt is so interested in you, go tie him to a bed and rape him.
well i guess its easier for me to listen to other peoples life situations then talk about my own. like for example with yasmin or or or najva or or well any besides masha realli cuz i seem so retarded speaking about Mr, Kevin Sottek or how everyone is being a pain in the ask about smoking or how i want to do that guy who looks like he should date jenny or miriam becuz hes so relaxed and cool looking like john lippman and i wouldnt do john cuz he reminds me too much of kevin but id do Sam cuz sam is realli attractive and see? this is the pointless stuff you of course just read but wouldnt hear me speak about cuz i suck....i just suck....and im going to bed.
.:witch baby:.

heeeelllllooo

well im in a good mood. wanna no why? i dont think you have a choice. JEN and i had an excellent conversation last night. hmm let me think we talked about books and friends and girls and boys and guitars maybe before i got kicked offline and all sorts of erotic lovely things and i was in such a great mood i still am. and now im even MORE happi cuz matt is finally talking to claire and matt is laughing cuz im acting stupid and im quite sure i scared off mr kevin mangold last night and i again blame you jen cuz your wonderfulnes inspired a 5 year old oddness in me which i dont think he could understand.

and me and jen's new word for holiness is: ppssshhscnoggles

well anyway, oh and thanks to amy and her wonderful outspokeness kevin sottek says he'll do me, oh joy! no realli...jjoy....and dont take that lightly, im delighted...ive wanted to do him since...the summer.....well ill just have to get hiim alone now wont i, after i get jen alone and mr. kevin mangold cuz he was just so disappointed last night when i said id do jen and not him and maybe matt in my mind cuz hes a sweetheart but hes all claires now, isnt that right matt. well then. im gonna be bizzy. *ha* yea right

well anyway i must be off. time to eat. again and again and again.

.:witch of a baby:.

hey all and one, here, 1st period, sitting next to eleanor and kendal who is updating and ah! claire is updating. wow we are just super cool dorks, on my other side is kevin m. NOT THE EVIL KEVIN WITH HAIR THAT MUST DIE AND THAT MUST BURN IN MY NON EXISTENT WRATH!! no this kevin is coooooooooooooooool. and micheal. who is just a retarded jew. but hes awesome cuz hes on the cover of a bar mitzvah magazine

okay anyway heres wats going on:

kevin (sottek) and i are .... dead. just cuz he doesnt even want to talk to to me anymore :( i no, its depressing but not cuz suddenly i realli truly, JUST DONT CARE.

anyway and yea theres no crushes oooff course except my little romantic match maker fling going on with matt and claire which I AM WORKING ON or at least trying to cuz matts never online or well...theree anymore. stupid boy.

my dream last night was crazy. pool party and such, and kevin ignored me and i was sad and theere was a dead person in the rain and jacki's mom was there and it was like whoa

AND I GOT MY HAIR CUT!!!!!! ALL THE DEAD CRAP IS GONE!!!!! YES YES YES!!! woohoo....well im happi about it.

.:witch baby:.